Fake It Until You Make It. The Imposter Syndrome Abounds In Networking.

Combat the anxiety of networking by changing your behavior, not who you are.

Mike Marcellus

Mar 15, 2024

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I’ve heard it a million times:

“I’m a introvert. I can’t network.”

“I’m a busy person. I don’t have time for networking!”

“I know the type of people that will be at networking events. I won’t fit it in.”

Introvert.

Busy.

Isolated.

These words do not define people.

They are labels.

If you carry the burden of one of these labels (or something similar), how do you break through?

How do you meet people?

How do you make life happen?

Fake It Until You Make It

For many years, I believed that the greatest networkers were extroverts.

Always smiling, laughing, and never short on words.

I was never like that.

So, how did I get through the last twenty years running a business that focused on networking?

I went through the motions.

I got to the point where I believed that "fake it" was a part of my journey in becoming more confident, more resilient, and better prepared to meet my full potential.

That is, until I “make it”

But in my mind, I felt I didn’t “deserve it” and was burdened with doubt.

Imposter Syndrome

Until recently, I never even heard of imposter syndrome.

What exactly is it?

imposter syndrome (noun)
The persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.
- Dictionary

Or, a little deeper analysis:

Those who have it may doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments. They may have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as frauds.^[1] Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon do not believe they deserve their success or luck. - Wikipedia

I’ve been networking for a long time and listened to a lot of people speak.

The thoughts would race through my head…

“Was that story Brandon telling … real?

“Because I never have experiences like that!”

“Did Barb really achieve all those accomplishments?”

“Because I could never do all those things!”

“Are they imposters?”

“Or am I?”

After running a networking organization for twenty years, hosting hundreds of networking events, and connecting thousands of professionals, I still struggle sometimes to figure out how and why I do what I do.

For example:

FACT: I have been running a business networking organization for twenty years.

MY THOUGHTS: I still only run a small business after all these years, I should have moved onto something more successful and lucrative a long time ago.

FACT: I have connected thousands of professionals.

MY THOUGHTS: They probably would have met anyway.

FACT: I have 250K+ newsletter subscribers.

MY THOUGHTS: I got lucky since I really don’t really have any extraordinary experiences to share, unique knowledge to teach, or exciting stories to tell.

It then occurred to me, the “fake it till you make it” mindset is the beginning of a journey with impostor syndrome.

What hope did I have?

Then I came across a LinkedIn posting by Adam Grant:

That’s it!

That’s what I needed to see.

That’s what I need to believe.

If you ever think that you’re not qualified, not deserving, or that others are overestimating you …

It’s a sign of your hidden potential.

It’s just not visible to you yet.

If used strategically, LinkedIn Groups can be a great way to connect with like-minded professionals.

The great thing about LinkedIn Groups is NOT about finding interesting posts, valuable content, or the latest and great news.

As a matter of fact, you will often find a lot of spam and irrelevant content.

The secret behind Linked Groups is the ability to connect with target members.

LINKEDIN GROUPS

Did you know …

There are over 2 million LinkedIn groups
A LinkedIn member can manage 30 groups
A LinkedIn member can join up to 100 groups

Benefits of Linked Groups

Learn new skills from peers
Share leads and referrals in industry groups
Connect with potential customers and find new clients

Drawbacks to Linked Groups

Usually a lot of SPAM
Can be a waste of time and energy
Majority of groups are unregulated or have no activity

Now, let’s take a look at LinkedIn Group’s secret sauce …

Once you are accepted into a group, you are able to direct message any of its members.

This includes connections outside your network (2nd and 3rd degree connections)

There is real value in that and opens the door to connect with an exponential amount of LinkedIn members.

And now, there’s something I call “backdoor direct messaging” with will allow you to reach the unreachable …

Want to learn more?

Check out my new LINKEDIN COURSE launching on April 1, 2024:

Strategic Networking on LinkedIn with a FREE Account

Learn More

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